1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize