I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize