man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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