I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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