if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize