that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
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Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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