i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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