So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
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She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
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We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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