can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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