what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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