I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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