Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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