how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I stole a fireplace last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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