i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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