Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh god it's open bar.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize