piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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