Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize