you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize