at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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