dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
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i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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