Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

  (917): View more from New York City

  get a pic

  (718): View more from New York

  i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

  (917): View more from New York City

  i want ur life

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  (718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite (917): get a pic (718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that (917): i want ur life http://tfl.nu/sg3n
  Replies (25) Good night (2423) Bad night (384)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.

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  (503): i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there. http://tfl.nu/qu8f
  Replies (15) Good night (455) Bad night (4857) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday

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  (925): upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday http://tfl.nu/ne1r
  Replies (42) Good night (2988) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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  (734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j
  Replies (32) Good night (636) Bad night (6919) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.

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  (304): I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster. http://tfl.nu/69p8
  Replies (34) Good night (3415) Bad night (2230) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9

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  (732): its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9 http://tfl.nu/78ka
  Replies (20) Good night (740) Bad night (3673) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.

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  (732): I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them. http://tfl.nu/v4vg
  Replies (22) Good night (6589) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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  (303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9
  Replies (22) Good night (4950) Bad night (1322) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (6924) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end

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  (912): just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end http://tfl.nu/x0of
  Replies (12) Good night (3147) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.

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  (407): Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS. http://tfl.nu/pvmv
  Replies (7) Good night (2068) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (2949) Bad night (536)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.

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  (205): Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah. http://tfl.nu/ja8i
  Replies (10) Good night (2438) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

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  (701): Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab... http://tfl.nu/8q0e
  Replies (5) Good night (2211) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  ... I threw up in the shower this morning

  (406): View more from Montana

  You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.

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  (307): ... I threw up in the shower this morning (406): You were "I'm not drunk" drunk. (307): I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time. http://tfl.nu/80b5
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (711)

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