she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize