do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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