but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize