i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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