tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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