i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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