the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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