He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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