I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
did i just pee glitter
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize