You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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