so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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