Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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