I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it hurts more in the daytime
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize