is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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