remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize