i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize