Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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