Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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