dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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