was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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