D3 body, D1 cock
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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