I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
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it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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