Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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