even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize