he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize