Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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