Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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