He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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