My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize